How to plan an elopement in 12 months [Step by Step guide]

Step 1 | Determine a budget

The first thing I want you to do, if you haven’t already, is go and check out my ‘how much does an elopement cost’ pricing calculator. Using this calculator will allow you to play around, and work out what a realistic budget is for your elopement. I highly recommend doing this alongside your partner. There’s no point you coming up with a high end luxury budget of $50,000 and your partner thinking a budget of $2500 is reasonable. This will create unnecessary tension, so do it together.

So sitting together, talk about what’s important to you. What do you prioritise? Are photos and video the number 1 thing you want to spend on? Are you more interested in spending on accessing an epic location? Maybe the wedding dress is the most important aspect of your day. Rank your priorities, as a couple, and then use the calculator to determine a rough budget.

When to do this? 12 months out, should be your first task.

Step 2 | What kind of elopement do you want?

Elopements are just as varied as weddings, if not more. I know people tend to have a specific view of what an elopement is based on what they see on Instagram and Pinterest. But, there are a lot of variables to consider.

The first thing you might want to think about is where you want to do this. I don’t mean the exact location, but are you wanting to travel? Or are you wanting to elope locally?

The next thing you will want to consider is how adventurous you want your day to be. Are you wanting to hike up a mountain to elope? Maybe you’re wanting to fly in a helicopter up to an Alpine Lake, or up into the Glaciers in New Zealand.

These option’s are not hard and fast. For example, you can have an adventurous destination elopement. You can also have a laid back destination elopement. Your elopement type is up to you.

Courthouse Elopement

A courthouse elopement is exactly what it sounds like. You go down, usually to your local courthouse, and elope there. You can have guests, and you can have a photographer. They do not personalise the ceremony, and it’s kind of a ‘get in and get out’ thing.

Destination Elopement

A destination elopement is anything where you would require accommodation. So that could be flying halfway across the world, or driving a few hours from your home. Most people assume a destination elopement has to be international, but this isn’t true.

Adventure Elopement

For the adventurers out there. This kind of elopement is not a relaxing day. You are on the go all day. Maybe you’re hiking a mountain, or maybe you’re road tripping up the East Coast of NZ, stopping at all the best places for photos. Heck, you could even be eloping on a surfboard at your favourite beach.

Low-key Elopement

Maybe your day to day lives are so hectic, you just want to relax on your wedding day. What do you need to elope this way? Vendors, and drinks probably! Honestly, this type of elopement is conducive to getting an amazing Airbnb, having your ceremony, and portraits on site, and just enjoying one another’s company.

Step 3 | How to plan an elopement with family & friends

Now is the time to determine whether or not you want guests at your elopement. Again, I want to reiterate, there is no right or wrong way to elope. This is totally a personal preference thing. Click here If you want to know how to tell your family you’re eloping without them, as this can often be a bit of an anxiety inducing thing for many people.

I suggest sitting down with your partner, and being honest about what you want. This is not the place to be shy about your intentions. This is how to plan an elopement 101, honesty! For example, if you want your parents, siblings and best friends there, and he wants no one, there’s going to need to be some major compromise.

Something else to consider here is that having guests, or not having guests will impact the overall logistics of your elopement. If that doesn’t make sense, let me break it down for you.

Elope with Guests

If you are choosing to elope with guests, there’s a few things to know. First of all, the location. You will need to choose a location that can accommodate guests, especially if some of them have mobility issues (think grandparents). With guests present you will have less flexibility should you need it. The more people you need to notify of any changes, the harder changes will be to execute. On the positive side (and there are so many, trust me), you get to have your family present. You get to see their tears. You get to share such a special moment with them. The best thing to do is find ways to include them, beyond being a guest, and remember, they are here for you. You don’t need to start compromising and changing your day for them.

Elope without guests

Eloping without guests can also be an amazing option. You will most certainly have more flexibility and freedom. Since you’re only having to worry about 2 people, a celebrant and a photographer, you can basically choose anywhere that both of you can access. You can also very readily change aspects of your day, including locations and timing, as you have no guests to consider. In my opinion, the downside is that you do forgo the emotional joy many people get out of having their family present. That is a personal preference however, and I can absolutely see the benefits of committing your lives to one another in private. So just remember, there is no right and wrong, only what is right or wrong for you. This is your elopement.

Step 4 | Are you telling anyone?

So now you know whether or not you’re going to be inviting any guests to your elopement. So the next logical step is to determine how you’re going to tell people you’re eloping, if you’re telling people at all. Obviously if you’re inviting guests, you’ll need to at least tell those guests about your plans. But, if you’re not inviting anyone, you might not want to let people know about your plans until after you’re married.

There are many different ways you can do this. You can do the old ‘engagement party’ that turns into a surprise announcement of your elopement. You can tell people individually. It’s really up to you. If you want to see a full guide I created on how to tell family you’re eloping, just click the link.

I’m sure you’re wondering, what’s the pros and cons of going either way. Well you’re in luck. I’m going to go into that below.

Keeping it secret?

How to plan an elopement without telling anyone you’re eloping is a true art form. You’ve got to do everything yourself, unless you have me, in which case I do everything for you while you sit back, drink a beer, and enjoy life. But jokes aside, there are some pros of eloping in secret. You experience no external pressure to compromise. There’s no chance of family members complaining and making you feel bad about your choice. It’s also a little bit more exciting. It’s a secret, and when you do finally tell people, it’s an absolute outpouring of emotions which would feel immensely cool!

Telling people you’re eloping

What do you need to elope, if not a helping hand? Well if you’re planning to get some external help, you’ll need to tell people about your choice. And this can be awesome. Not only does it give you the option of having some guests in attendance, but it also means you can get some support in the planning process, even if you’re not planning on having these people present on the day. So how do you do it? That is the biggest question I get from people at this stage of planning. Thankfully, I have a list of ways to go about announcing to the world about your elopement, so check that out!

Step 5 | Book your photographer

This is a major step. And no I don’t just say that because I’m a photographer. I say that because, in my opinion (and I held this opinion when I got married), picking the right photographer is one of the most important decisions you will make. It can make or break your elopement.

So what do you do? How do you pick the right photographer? Sit down with your partner and discuss broadly what’s important to you? Do you value feeling comfortable? Having fun? Amazing artistic photos? Do you want to save money and get a beginner, or spend more and get a seasoned professional? Once you have this information, go through google, or Instagram and put together a list of 3-5 photographers you love.

Things to look for when it comes to their website or Instagram is the way they talk. Do you think you would get along with them on a personal basis? What about their photos? Do they speak to you, or are they just ‘meh’? Once you know, here’s what to do.

Step 6 | Figure out location and date

Now that you have a photographer all booked in, my suggestion is to utilise their knowledge and experience, figure out a location you would like to elope, and a date. When most people come to me to plan an elopement they have a rough idea what they want. For example, they know they want to elope in New Zealand in the Spring, but nothing more than that. Others come to me and know they want to elope in the Mountains, but nothing more than that. And some people have absolutely no idea, they just know they want to elope.

Again, there’s no right or wrong. You don’t have to have it all figured out, that’s what I’m here for. I can give you recommendations all across the world, including the best times of year, and even the best days of the week to elope wherever we settle on.

And that’s another thing to consider, the date and the day of the week. I highly recommend Spring and Autumn, just for that less volatile weather. I also recommend mid week, such as Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday to ensure more privacy and intimacy.

Where do you want to elope?

Here are my steps to pick a location. Step 1, do you want to elope locally or are you happy to travel? Step 2, What kind of landscape stands out to you? Mountain? Cliff? Lake? Beach? Step 3, How adventurous do you want to be? Do you want to hike? Or do you want to pull up, jump out of a car, and be right there? Step 4, how much money are you prepared to pay to access your location? Step 5, combine this info, and pass it on to me, I will advise you of places that perfectly match your criteria!

What time of year do you want to elope?

I do this after I do location. The reason for this is simple, location dictates time of year. For example, if you want to elope in the Mountains, in a destination and are happy to spend money, I would recommend flying to NZ, and getting in a helicopter, which for me is a Spring/Winter thing. If you wanted a beach elopement, destination, very laid back, I might recommend Spring/summer for the right feel. With the location in mind, think about the season/time of year, and let me do the rest.

Step 7 | Figure out how to legally elope

Researching how to plan an elopement would be a total waste of time if you didn’t factor in the legalities of eloping. Remember, how you legally elope will change in different countries, and sometimes even different states. If you’re confused, and wondering how to legally elope in NSW (or Australia), this article will run you through the legalities. If you’re eloping in NZ, check out the legalities of eloping in NZ here.

The best piece of advice I can give you here is to speak to a celebrant. They are your gurus in terms of legalities. If you’re eloping internationally, contact your version of Births Deaths Marriages (BDM), let them know your plans to elope overseas, and they will be able to advise you on the additional steps you may need to take to legally elope.

Generally speaking, you will usually need 2 witnesses (I’m 1 witness usually, so you just need 1 more), to not already be married, and to be over the age of 18. Just never assume you know the laws, speak to someone who does, get it confirmed, and don’t be disappointed.

Step 8 | Time to book in vendors

This is where you truly get to finish off planning your elopement! You’re putting together your dream team. So what do you need to elope? And who? Let me give you some insight on what I consider ‘the essentials’ for planning your elopement. If you want to include vendors outside of my ‘essentials’ go for it! These are just the vendors most commonly required to elope.

Like I said above, a Celebrant is the one and only true essential. Without them, you cannot get married, period. So choose wisely. Next up is your Hair & Makeup team. Sometimes I suggest my couples do this themselves, but that’s usually only if they are eloping remotely (so to avoid hefty travel fees for hair and makeup), or if they are just really good at it and want too!

You will also likely need a Florist for a bouquet and a button hole, Transportation & Accommodation, as well as Suits/Dresses. But when do you actually book these vendors?

Step 9 | Let’s create your timeline

You’re here. Finally, at the end of the planning process. I know it seems like a lot, but trust me, with my help, you will get through most of this in only a few weeks. Plus, like I said, I do almost all of this for my couples, all they have to do is tell me what they want, and I’ll get it done for them.

So now we plan your elopement timeline. This should always be done with, or by your photographer. We know how to lay out an elopement so it works best, and we understand light. If you haven’t already, outline to your photographer the plan in your head, what you want and what you don’t. From here, they should be able to put together a timeline that will work perfectly for you. It may take a few drafts, but it’s worth it. This step is crucial.

Once you have a timeline fully designed, you’re on the home stretch now. Time to sit back, enjoy the ride, enjoy each other, and let your vendors work on things in the background.