wife and husband explain wedding regrets captured by james white hunter valley wedding photographer

Most Common Wedding Regrets, and how to Avoid Them!

Brides and Groom Share their Biggest Wedding Regrets So You Can Avoid Them!

“I regret it so much, and the thing that annoys me most is, I was warned about it beforehand, and I literally just ignored it. What’s done is done though, can’t fix it now! Wedding regrets suck!”

I’m going to go ahead and take a swing at it, and guess that you don’t want to ever find yourself uttering the same words as Steph did, only 3 months after her big day? I thought so! Steph’s biggest wedding regret was that she hired a photographer, recommended by a friend, and never met them. As it turned out, they did not get along at all, to the point that the photographers were asked, in a firm manner, to go home early.

This is not all that uncommon. In fact, when I interviewed over 250 brides and grooms (not all clients of mine), only 30 of them had no regrets to share. That is massive! Let that sink in for a second. That is nearly 90% of couples who carry wedding regrets forever. It sucks, trust me, I’m one of them!

So what were our couples biggest wedding regrets? Let’s find out! (P.S. too busy to read it all? Skip to the end for a super easy to digest graphic summarising the entire article)

1. 88% of couples regretted not hiring a videographer

I wish I could say this was a surprise, but it wasn’t. So often, during the planning process, I hear couples say that they will consider a videographer, only if they can afford one at the very end. Or they discuss videography in terms of a luxury item, only if they have spare money.

Nothing could be further from the truth (to find out how to avoid this regret click here). “There is something special about video, about watching motion. I regret it so much because my kids keep asking to see our wedding video, and sadly, we don’t have one“. Ouch! Dea stated this as her number one regret, and for her as a photographer, this one hurts doubly. I can relate, I also did not have a videographer. Thankfully, my wife is a videographer so we still have a wedding video of sorts, but to this day, I regret not having one. Was it worth the few thousand dollars we saved? No! It seemed like such a great idea at the time, save a bit of money, but in the long run, it was a terrible decision. Do yourself a favour and hire a videographer!

mystwood bride and groom walk down the aisle, confetti thrown on them

2. 76% of couples regretted choosing the wrong photographer

Surprise, surprise…this one annoys me the most. For various reasons, so many people hire the wrong photographer. Maybe they are trying to save money, maybe they trusted someone elses’ judgement, or maybe they didn’t do their research and meet with their photographer. There are so many reasons. I won’t go into it here, but for more information on the absolute best way to avoid this regret, click here!

“I regret not researching photographers more” says Jasmine who works in the wedding industry! This is again, a common theme. People either research way too much (Find out why that is the worst thing you could ever do), or don’t at all. By not researching and meeting with your photographer before the wedding, you open yourself up to a whole host of issues. Stayce had the unfortunate luck of having a photographer who she perceived to be more talented than she was. As a result, a lot of the images are blurry or poorly exposed. Sadly the images, once done, can never be done again. Weddings don’t happen twice (well that’s the plan), so you need to know you have the right photographer for your day!

bride and groom at stonehurst cedar creek, walking between trees

3. 64% of couples regret doing things for other people

Out of context, it sounds like 64% of people are really mean. What do I mean by this? Doing things that others want or expect of you, despite you not wanting to do them. For example, let me use my own wedding. Neither my wife nor I like to dance, so, despite what our families said about it being mandatory, we opted not to have a first dance. Did it ruin our wedding? The exact opposite actually. We didn’t spend the day stressed and anxious, so we had the absolute best time.

“By giving in to what other people wanted, we got less of what we wanted” said Sarah. If you really stop and think about this, you spend a lot of money, and often about 12 months planning this wedding, only to do what everyone else wants, and nothing for yourself? If that sounds utterly insane, raise your hand…*raises hand*.

Your wedding is a day for you to celebrate your love. Not a day for your friends and family to celebrate what they want a wedding to look like. The best and easiest way to ensure you do this, is to sit down with a wedding planner, or even an event coordinator and outline what you want and what you don’t want. They will help to keep you on track to achieving this. Another amazing thing to think about is eloping, this is often a more intimate, authentic way of getting married. It isn’t for everybody though, so for a breakdown of the major benefits of eloping vs wedding, click here!

bride and groom stand side by side outside estate tuscany in the hunter valley

4. 52% of couples regretted not asking for help

Take it from someone who has recently been married…I wouldn’t have made it without my mates. Utilise them, and don’t ever think you are a burden..they want to help! By saying yes to being in your party, they are saying yes to helping you get to the ceremony, however battered and bruised you may be! Your family are always their to help you. Now don’t get me wrong, don’t ask your best friend to go pick out your wedding dress. That is a pretty personal decision that can only be made by you. But why not ask them to liaise with the stationary designer, or have them pick up your wedding invitations. Maybe have them deal with the venue on the day of the wedding, so that you don’t have to worry and stress about anything.

“Don’t be afraid to ask for help, weddings are hard work to plan especially when you still have to continue to do every day life things like work! Haha. We didn’t realise we completely forgot to even play music during the reception until it was over, someone helping with smaller things like this would’ve been great!” Paige nailed this! Sadly so, not asking for help had a negative impact on her wedding day. My suggestion is to give your best man, maid of honour, or someones mother a copy of the run sheet, so that they know what is supposed to be going on, and can get involved if they need to, so you don’t have to worry.

One final word is, if you don’t want to ask your friends and family, hire a wedding planner. If you get married at amazing venues like Stonehurst Cedar Creek, or Estate Tuscany, they come with them!

avoid these top wedding regrets, ask your friends and family for help

Now you can avoid having these wedding regrets

So what can we take from this? Well, learn! Learn from others mistakes. Wedding regrets are a real thing, and they can happen to anyone. If you follow these lessons, you have a far better chance of avoiding any of these common regrets. And just in case you’re forgetful, enjoy this easy to read graphic outlining these biggest wedding regrets. Print it out, paste it to your wall, or have it around your dogs collar so every time you play with him you see it…totally up to you! If you have any questions, always, feel free to contact me and we can chat further.

Unsure as to what vendors you now need to contact and book in for your wedding day? I got you covered with my 8 vendors you need to contact for your big day! This article has suggestions on amazing vendors in the Hunter Valley, as well as a timeline for when to contact and book them for you to make the planning process stress free!

biggest wedding regrets infographic


Will I regret not having a big wedding?

Maybe, maybe not. It all depends on what you and your partner want. If neither of you grew up wanting a huge wedding, or a traditional wedding then it probably won’t bother you to have an elopement. But if you did grow up dreaming of that big day, then yes, there is a big chance you will regret it.

Are destination weddings selfish?

No! Do you want one? If so, then no. The wedding is for you, not for your friends and family. It is a celebration of your love and you can do it how and where you want. There are sacrifices that come with a destination wedding, loads of guests, friends and family won’t be able to make it, so it is a sacrifice you need to consider. Talk with your partner, whatever decision you make is the right one.

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